Seriously, what else can people come up with to get in a book of records?  Apparently, being a teacher doesn't prevent one's mind from thinking of irrelevant and incalculably ambitionless decisions to make such an impact on the world of incredible feats and impressive feelings. 

A Mumbai teacher decided to shove 92 pencils in his mouth and they declare that record-worthy. 

What.  The.  Fuck.  If you're gunning for worthyness, why don't you shove them in your hairy, smelly ass instead of meeting the level of idiocy only half-way? 

Here are a few others, noteworthy candidates of the "World's Idiotic Record Holder For (Insert Record Here)"

Eye-Popping Record

Claudio Pinto can pop both of his eyes 4 cm (about 1 and a half inch) or 95% out of their sockets. He's now aiming (poppin'?) for a world record.

Mr Pinto has undergone various tests and doctors say they have never seen or heard of a person who can pop the eyes as much as him. Mr Pinto, from Belo Horizonte, said: "It is a pretty easy way to make money. "I can pop my eyes out four centimetres each, it is a gift from God, I feel blessed."

 (I like the part "it's a gift from God, I feel blessed" thrown in after the "It's a pretty easy way to make money" lol!)

World's Longest Fingernails

Twenty seven years ago, Lee Redmond's life was too busy for beauty treatments, so she decided to cut corners and stop filing her nails. Now, 33 inches later, the Salt Lake City woman holds the world's record for longest fingernails : Astonishingly, she claims it does not hamper her efforts to cook, clean and look after her husband. But the extraordinarily long fingernails are a sight so bizarre, many feel they have to look away - and even Mrs Redmond admits her unsightly nails terrify children. 

(It's not just the nails that would scare me away from her - she's god damn horrid looking, too!  I bet she can scratch a mean set of balls, though!!  Or an itchy ass!)

Typing to One Million

Les Stewart from Mudjimba, Australia, holds the world's record of typing all numbers from one to one million in words (not numbers). He began in 1982 and finished with the entry "one million" on November 25, 1998.

Seven manual typewriters, 1000 ink ribbons, 19,890 pages, 16 years and seven months later, he finished with the lines "nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine. ---one million."
When asked why he has undertaken this time consuming and repetitious task, Les says that he has little else to do now that he has been classed as an invalid, and can no longer work. Besides that, Les enjoys typing and used to be a police typing instructor before his sickness which meant his withdrawal from the force. Typing an average three pages a day with one finger since April 1982, Les said his secret was to type for 20 minutes on the hour, every hour.

(Clearly no one informed this dude on a little thing called masturbation!)

Most t-shirts worn at one time: 121

David Alexander wore 121 t-shirts to break the world's record of most t-shirts worn at one time! Alexander, who weighs 210 pounds shirtless, tipped the scale at 285 pounds in full garb.

Sharp spent roughly two hours wrestling the tees - which ranged in size from small to 8XL - over his friend's head and arms, calling out each number as they progressed, per Guinness rules. In 93 degree heat, Alexander sweat through the first 36 shirts. The duo had wondered why the previous record holder had stopped at 107. By 60, they understood: The necks grew tight, the shoulders constricting, and the sleeves so long that Alexander couldn't bend his elbows. It took 30 minutes and four guys with scissors to cut Alexander out of the cloth. All was documented on videotape, which the duo plans to send to Guinness to earn the official title.

(Maybe he should have tried for the record of how many layers he can fit on his head to protect whatever cells left from the heat to gun for this record!  This includes the previous holder, as well!)